I am not going to lie to you. I started making mental lists of my favorite looks on the carpet and those who need to hire a new stylist. I had another engagement during the carpet but it turns out that I didn’t miss much. Instead of giving you a detailed list of my top ten and the ten I hated the most, I am keeping it simple this year. Although, I must be honest… the reason I am keeping it simple is because there were so many terrible dresses I didn’t want to even spend time discussing the hideousness and “what were they thinking” moments any more than I have to.
Angelina Jolie. Thank you for proving that you are still a star in a dress that belongs on display.
Cameron Diaz. Yellow was an exceptional choice on a carpet covered in black, gold, and red.
Gwyneth Paltrow. This is the most amazing Oscar dress I have seen in a while. This is why we tune in annually.
Kate Mara. I am so shocked by the sheer ugliness (pun intended) that I don’t even have a witchy comment for you. But I will remind you to stand up straight because your posture makes you look even worse.
Virginia Madsen. Sweetie, they already filmed Bridesmaids, so there is no point in auditioning in your ill fitted old prom dress.
Livia Giuggioli. Why? I mean, why? Seriously. You are married to one of the greatest working actors and stylish men in the world so why would you wear something so awful? I don’t know what I hate more: the sheer puff sleeves, the ill-fitting bodice, or the pattern on the skirt. Thankfully, you are a beautiful woman in spite of an ugly dress so maybe people will be so taken with your beauty they won’t notice the most disastrous choice on the carpet this evening.